i cant tell if this is photoshopped or not....
We made it back. The STD results are in, and it turns out we all landed a fresh hot case of da crabs. But don't worry ladies, we got it from men. Truthfully we got it from each other. The West is the breast. We saw it all, we even saw, "YER FACE!". It's good to be back, we missed our miserable jobs, and we really missed our debts and obligations. Here's a few cliff note snippets from the trip, on the drive home, we went day by day from the beginning of the trip and took down notes on everything that we could remember happened.
To understand our shorthand.... here's a legend:
Dan is BLOB
Chris is Bernie
Josh is Bagelbird is known as Percy and the $ew
Dboz is mostly Dboz
Kidd is our tour manager, a.k.a, "Bill ..... I'm sorry...."
Myshack is Jim Morrison, but he quit drugs and booze
This story has been JUMBLED for your confusion.......  It's mostly true...
San Fran-
Hallway snarflers .. everyone slept on floor.
Got parking ticket for parking van on street that night
Northern California-
Lunch - in-out burger - lady spills drink.. bernie gets hat compliment from old ladies
People were beating up bear..
Dan went to dark side and was throwing drums.. stayed at motel
van is found to be grafitti'd by a 3rd grader..
Breakfast - scotty and dboz eat mcdonalds, the others get gass staion tacos
drove north..
Stopped at a badass black sand beach and saw whales in the distance....  Oregon/Washington
Percy and Myshack go to gun range to shoot tommy gun, then got metro-sexual with new clothes and a fire'd up hair-do for Percy..
Van is set fire by nihilist's over bag of dirty undies...
Someone sucks a penis for a sandwich
Dboz gives Bernie $800 cash that he had wired to his account.. bernie blows thru it in 2 days (paying back loans and shit)
Latenight cocktails at the days inn.. Spill-Boz spills Wild Turkey on Myshacks laptop..
Late night.. Dboz and Kidd have tall boys at Bailey Lounge in Olympia, just before last call with the escaped convicts from a Discovery channel murder reinactment.
 Dan sleeps in closet.
Wyoming-
free booze! we drink $50 over our tab..
Wyoming meth is amazing!
skiddish door guys..
Local guy gets cash advance from the bar, writes a personal check
 Rick, the "Hot Tub King of Wyoming" (club owner) hated Dan's ideas.. Dan told him about Bernies piss bag (ziplock urine in van) and he was not impressed. Epic fail.
Considering the population of wyoming, the turnout was great! (10ppl)
Denver-
Kentucky dirby - dan predicts the broken leg and jimmy kidd gave him shit for causing it.
John Denver sits in for "Rocky Mountain Thighs"
New Mexico (somewhere....)
Jumble loses 20bux in no-time
Bernie wins 10bux on wheel of fortune.. tells Blob it was $30
Flagstaff, AZ
Hotel monte vista karaoke night.. $2 long islands.. met aussie travellers.. Bernie opened the night with "Carribean Queen" (horrible!!!)
Race car game.. Dboz sings Huey Lewis, "The Power of Love".. Rboz, Robotic Dboz, and Dan do "Love Shack" with the Aussies.. Dan does Van Halen's "Jump" and David Lee Roth's "Just a Giggalo"
Took cab back to hotel.. woke up Percy.. he was pissed.. smoked a Ron Kuby in the van.. Lubbock, TX
Bernie Stays the night at Clays house - sleeps on cat piss couch!
On the way to San Diego....
Morning - got in fight about leaving.. Bernie went swimmin
Took bernie to UPS Store so he could mail home his stash
Went to subway for lunch..$5 footlong.. Blob steals Jared Subway Cutout, get's taken by United States Customs on the way to San Diego... Border Patrol...  We get searched and questioned, Percy gets frisked by gay border partol guy... Dboz winks at Border Partol man.
Breakfast - Continental - Bernie sneezes and coughs on old man.. Old guy yells at him
Went out for hike, but had to abort and go to pep boys for alternator repair
Blob eats 6 sandwiches
Dan introduced his brother Rob to Red Bull..he had a grabber (heart attack) on the drive back to Los Angeles..
 Los Angeles<Monterey, CA:
Tripp throws up..
Monterey Live, the venue, feels like hanging out at Sting's House....
 Dan walked the pier with his 7-11 coffee cup coozie.. he could hear the seals arfing
Dboz and Bernie get snarky
Late night - ate 7-11 nachos and bullshit breakfast sandwiches..
Dan got turkey sub, consumed 6,000 calories
Sandbaggin Michelob's
Someone got a proximity boner
 So, we're giving an open invitation to anybody that wants to sit in with us. Whether it be playing music, dancing, painting, or reading poetry. It is now an open forum. Anything goes. We're ready to give back. We know how many creative people this amazing city of of Austin holds, and we're ready to share the stage.
If anyone would like to give it a try, please shoot us an email. Now, keep in mind that we do have strict regulations and anyone that is below average will not get a call back, and definitely not a chance to play. Remember, people want to be a part of good creativity, so don't waste our time with bullshit, we're above that.
Thanks and we're looking forward to it...
So we've got some good stuff from Senor Burns, for those of you that don't already know, Bernie is Christopher Holland.. We started to get a bit self conscious about our blogs as Chicago Fats is writing too much about buffets, farts and puking, we thought that some of you might actually like to learn about the shows themselves....
Lubbock, TX
Bar PM and Frat Party
As we passed the landmark windmills of west Texas leading to Lubbock we realized that we were pretty much facing the hardest weekend of the entire 31 day tour. This was the first weekend of the tour and it just seemed funny that we would be unloading, setting up and reloading all the equipment a few too many times. Appropriately, we named this weekend Hamburger Hill….. 3 shows in 2 days:
Friday – We played at Bar PM. We have played here before and Friday nights are usually a WIN BEAR. I’m not sure this particular Friday night lived up to par however.
We were missing a ton of our usual Lubbock folk and thus the crowd energy was a bit down. I think we ripped the first 7 songs or so and then certain members entered the Fail Zone. Look, this is the first show of the tour and as most musicians know this is almost always the biggest display of ice breaking warm ups known to ……..robots. And so it was.
Saturday – About 4 days before the actual show we booked a Frat gig at the Beta house in Lubbock. We are always excited to do these kind of shows because :
1- The people throwing the party have obviously heard said band, and
2- Said people are very, very drunk and enthusiastic
 Both of these factors usually add up to …. F U N. And this was no exception. We showed up about 5pm that day to a backyard full of highly energized 21 yr olds with a need for speed….. and shotgunning Keystone Light cans in groups of 5 while screaming motivational “YEAHS” in between chugs. It was utterly beautiful outside and we had a nice stage with tons of PA problems that Andrew eventually took care of. God bless you Andrew, if that was your name,…. Im now on Scotch number 3 so forgive me if itemized details are skewed a bit. OK FINE. Either way, the point is this…. These kids were fucking ripe…. And ready to shotgun a can of the Matter. Throughout the show we probably went through at least 20 different teases. All of which of course were strewn throughout the setlist.
Conclusion: Amazing energy with some of the most inspirational new fans of all time. We truly felt at home…
Santa Fe, NM
The Santa Fe Brewing Co.
As we pulled up to the the venue we we’re definitely a little weary of its location. It was about 5 – 10 miles out of Santa Fe and was pretty close to the highway. The place turned out to be pretty bad ass though as it had a theater size stage inside with amazing sound and some really cordial folk. The venue had 2 different buildings on site: one for the pub/grill and stage and the other that was just the brewery. Both of them had people chillin and sluggin some of the homemade brews. Upon setting up and taking the stage we were hosts to a room of about 10 people. It was a fkn Monday night in Santa Fe and our buddy Tom Fee Watts (who sat win with us on guitar for a tune and ripped it) informed us that the average age of a Santa Fe resident is like 57. FAIL. Still though, we all played really well for about 2 hours and then called it quits. Definitely not a moral booster evening but wtf do you want on a Monday night at the place. Either way, we had a blast and Santa Fe is a special place with beautiful adobe style, everything. Great place to visit but maybe not such a great place in which to attempt a music scene.
Show Ratings, out of 10
Performance: 7
Sound: 9
Crowd: 4 (because of quantity but definitely not because of quality, great people.)
Setlist:
My So Called Life
The Web
Change
Systems
The Glue
A Victim of Tides
Upward (second time played)
Fee Jam (Tom Watts came up for a blues jam on guitar that he wrote)
Sun’s Gonna Rise
Greetings from the road. We’ve been at it pretty hard, it’s our first day of rest after an 8 day run. I’m sitting in a Ramada just North of Denver trying to process this journey. The last 8 days were pretty fast and crazy, exhausting to say the least.
Getting in to Story, WY was interesting. It was snowing balls, and if you are familiar with Wyoming interstates, they are like no other. They are always closing down segments because of high winds and blowing snow. Of course most of us slacked on winter gear, which made things even harder. Wyoming has only 500,000 people in the entire state, and you can tell. Sometimes in speaking with the locals they give movie-like laughs as if they all had a town meeting about us passing through. When we realized that we weren’t getting out of there the morning after our gig, almost everyone gave a creepy laugh about the road conditions, “oh, I reckon you ain’t gonna make it just yet”…
Our bartender at the venue said that people in Wyoming make up what they think they saw, it can be over dramatic, I guess she was trying to say… I asked if they have a town drunk and his name is Josh Mitchell, I doubt he has internet access so I’m not worried about calling him out on here…. I’m not sure if it was Story, WY, or a neighboring city, but they made the news with a story of a woman keeping a goat in a van. Apparently there were some animal rights issues, and they concluded that the goat had good living conditions. We are seated in a smoky lodge, the wind was howling so bad that the chimney smoke would blow back in the room.
A few times I blew my nose and there was soot as if I’d been welding all day, the smoke was so out of control in the room, I had to stop playing a few times. The lights are starting to dim and Dboz has just upgraded his Miller Hi-Life to a Bourbon and coke. We get served a nice pasta and chicken dish compliments of Rick (guy that booked us, and took great care of us) and the neighboring restaurant. Snow is billowing up the glass doors of the lodge, in the light it looks like a smoke machine is going outside… something I haven’t seen in a long time, Texas don't get like this.... high winds and snow drifts are everywhere, and it’s starting to get cold and dark in here…. My body was aching, and I was freezing, wet cold feet, how the hell can I play a gig in this smoke pit ….. This was me at the end of the night… There’s a goddamned haze in the room, I could hear some slurred speech over by the fireplace, and one of the locals wrote Rick a check for $30 so he could get a cash advance on some cocktails.
Learning a lot on this run, although the rest of the band might laugh at this, one thing you learn about traveling in a group of chums that you sleep next to, fart on, snore on and cough on, is when you are being an asshole you are truly projecting your own misery on a group. Wayne Dyer states “When you squeeze an orange, orange juice comes out - because that's what's inside. When you are squeezed, what comes out is what is inside”. What comes out of our mouths when we squeeze one another? CHEAP SHOTS… Anyway, it’s a nice test to travel with good friends, you learn a lot about yourself and others….
When I get mad, I usually retreat to the children's dining section.... In this particular instance I was informed that I'm a fat, broke, worthless, blob...... All I could say was, get a new one guys..
As you already know, we made it. We've got an arsenal of goods, pictures and video, but we've been so busy eating crab that we haven't had time to get to the blogs! So far we've kicked off the tour in Lubbock, we played a two night show at Bar PM and played at the Beta House for one of the best shows of the tour, a daytime gig with tons of Keystone pounding frat and sorority kids. We moved on to Santa Fe, NM, then over to Flagstaff for a night off with some Karaoke We headed down to Mesa, AZ and had a pretty chill gig for a weeknight, but definitely made some friends... We made it to San Diego, CA the next day, we headed up to Los Angeles, and also the Brookdale Lodge for a haunted excursion.. We hung out in Santa Cruz, and then spent a few days in San Francisco. The depth and quality of this trip is just so large in my mind, so much to say, so much to show... For now here's a few more pictures until me and Inspector Gadget get all the materials compiled.... Sometimes you just gotta go.... and of course, in traffic, what a better place to have a hot bag of piss drip onto our freshly cleaned carpets... Oh bother! CHAZ SPOTTING! So, we spotted some Native Wildlife to the California Coast, a genuine Chaz. You may have seen Chaz in any of the eighties movies that usually feature a white boy with polos, and of course white pants. Usually has a nice sports car and beats the shit out of John Cusak or the Nerds. Of course, I myself, often dress like a Chaz, this guy was dead on. Dboz did a false pose for me while I zoomed in on the cat. Hey we're all a little bit of a Chaz every once in a while.... Percy buys a beach cruiser. So we debated seriously, purchasing a cruiser for the beach. We won over $1,000 instant lotto from a tip from our merchandise bin. We were so close to purchasing a motorcycle from Pep Boys. They sell these small scooters that look like Harley's for $500, and they are amazing. Then we realized that I was too fat to ride on it and spent the money on $4 per gallon gasoline. Anyway.... Below you'll notice... As you might notice from the picture above, we've been given the green light from Random House Publishing to start the editing of our new coffee table book, "American Glute" a dedication to the female buttocks. This picture taken above is from the mannequin at the local jean store. Wouldn't be a good road trip without some good old fashioned grade A car trouble... We were driving to our first day off health hike, band wellness adventure, when the universe decided that sitting at Pep Boys and losing over $300 was more important. The good news, we noticed the problem right away, by the time we got it diagnosed at Auto Zone the van coasted into Pep Boys where we upgraded to a higher volt alternator. Turns out that Dboz's gadget central may have played a role in the killing of our alternator. You see Dboz has a full multimedia lab going at all times in the van, so maybe it's finally taken it's toll on the battery and the alternator, the good news, we upgraded so we now have a microwave oven for pizza rolls that runs 24-7 in the back seat. Okay, so I'm really trying hard, I'm trying, really... to make these blogs a little more rated PG. And I know that this picture may seem a tad disturbing but it's just a movie reference. For any of you that haven't seen the Big Lebowski, you are the only ones that wouldn't recognize a photo like this. So it's been a habit of one of the MM crew to draw replicas at every hotel we go to. Here's one from a favorite hotel of ours. The only harm is that the cleaning ladies probably get offended but it couldn't be any worse than them walking in to our rooms all the time trying to get us out of the hotel. We're in a band, you have to kick us out, we don't go to bed until late, it's just business. So they bang on the door and usually enter, all to see one of us marching towards the door, I always make it a point to answer the door naked. Can anyone tell what's going on in this photo? ? From the Road Tip: Bum Coozie. So since some of us are semi-unemployed at this time, it helps to try and trim the fat, save on whatever we can. We are often forced with schwag deals on drinks at these clubs..... forcing some of us to drink our standard 4,000 pre-show drinks outside of the venue. Well I want all of you to know that the 7-11 coffee cup is perfectly retrofitted to a discreet street legal coozie that will disguise any can of your choice. Happy Drinking!
Listen here folks, we've got some good stuff here. Now being uploaded, keep checking the website, we've got video and hundreds of pics.
Cheers
3-5-2008
Memphis, Hi Tone – Midtown: Memphis, TN
We roll into the gig, they just had a baby shower at the venue, and we thought all those cars were there to see us. The gig was awesome, Litajo is a great local band in Memphis, they had a killer drummer, shredding guitarist, they all played really well together. We had a decent crowd, people were digging it. The Hi Tone has a huge back room, green room with plenty of nifty graffiti and strange furniture. It was like a huge garage. We had a good night, it was my birthday. One thing that was irksome, “Oh yeah man, it’s spring break so a lot of people are out of town”….. One time Widespread Panic was playing 600 miles away so the whole town was out at the show… The point is, the odds are often against you, especially on weeknights, there seems to be too many nightlife choices sometimes.... I didn’t get as wasted as most miserable thirty-somethings probably do on their birthday. I actually had to buy myself and the band a round of shots, isn’t that messed up? The wings were pretty damn good at the Hi Tone, we also had a pizza. It was $3 Canadian Clubs, and $3 24oz Pabst Tall Boys. I chose to stick with the Heinekens and avoid the hangover, I brought my own in…. No I didn’t….. The cool thing about Memphis, you can booze it up in most parts? I recall walking around Beale Street with cocktails, that was fun. Yet another place not ruined by some bullshit agency like the TABCA… Let’s not get into it. Later that night we had to stay in our rooms, the guy in our Super 8 told us not to walk down the street at night.... We were close to the airport, not the best of neighborhoods...
Late night hotel, of course since I was turning 30, Chris and I didn’t want the party to stop so we celebrated with a Microsoft Paint off…. Here’s a few pictures.
.... from the van....
One observation from the road. You spend lots of time in buffets, gas stations, and you get to see all kinds of interesting bathrooms. The things we see in bathrooms say a lot about the human race. They are places of art, some would call it Graffitti but I’m going to call it art, because it is truly art. It says everything we want to know, like who to call for a tractor pull, where to have a gay encounter with a trucker (exit 193) and all kinds of racial slurs that remind us how ignorant and fucked we still are. But on a lighter note, I’m talking about one problematic thing, for me. I can handle the visuals and the smell, but I can’t handle toilet seats. And most people like to pee on them, or even worse. I’ve decided that there simply is no goodwill when it comes to bathrooms and that people don’t treat public property very well. The bathroom can’t fight back. It has no defense mechanisms, okay, maybe auto flush, but that’s about it. Since Stuckey’s doesn’t have a bathroom attendant, they should consider my new invention. What if the toilet fought back? What if when you peed on the seat, it sprayed water in your face? How about a temperature sensing toilet seat that fights back when hot urine hits it. Or maybe something a little more practical, Dboz suggests a foot pedal that will raise the seat so people don’t have to touch it. I was thinking, why not just take a sensor that can tell if you are sitting or if you walk face forward it automatically rises the seat. What I’m talking about here is bathroom automation folks. I want a urinal that analyzes peoples pee to tell us what drugs are in their system. How about a pee-o-meter that has high scores for most pee quantity and sloppiest pisser of the day, with picture of face. Or even a ball cam about that? Instead of recent activity it could have a display that shows a digital pic of the last crap left behind. Jeez Dan, you are so gross.
Common, it’s all about filth and potty humor. Okay I do have nice things to say, really I do. And poop and pee are not funny, nor are farts, butffets or gay truckers.
We were very disappointed with LaQuinta, they have Wi-Fi ball ports.... It was freezing in Birmingham, it was 9pm and this guy was going 40mph on his scooter down the interstate. He had a guitar on his back, he waved at us, we probably scared the piss out of him. Okay so this guy is sitting in a nice restaurant apparently passed out, notice someone was throwing money at his feet and bunk leg. We didn't eat there and I got some really bad looks for snapping this one, what can I say, Bernie made me do it. Nobody took this bet.... It was dumpster snot.. If I had better health insurance I'd have eaten it because that is all the money Bernie has left for the tour.... BZZZTT Healthy Choices… Eating on the road is rough… Buffets can be dangerous, and invite all kinds of unhealthy things, but often for the band the price is right and we can get a variety of nutrients by stuffin the pie hole at the ole buffet. I’ve got a few tips on how to survive. No secret sauce. Anything that looks like it sitting in butter, mayo or any sort of glazed sauce is probably a fat factory. Include salad on every dish, and hit the fruit and veggies up, beware with the veggies of whale fat and other glazes. Try and fill up a plate or two of all salad, with cucumbers, melon, raisins, carrots and all the fresh veggies you can find (always have them). You see most buffets only stock the cheap shit, carrots, cucumbers, broccoli, raisins, tomatoes. I always try and get some tomatoes, they are high in antioxidants. Avoid all the fried food, fried = you get larger. If you can try and be reasonable with your choices, limit your portions, you'll be way better off.
The band hasn’t really managed a way to eat on our own, part of getting out of the van means stopping at China Palace or Western Sizzlin. I can rate some of these now, almost anything with China is an automatic ABORT! Don’t do it. Western Sizzlin is pretty solid so far nobody is sick. Shoney’s is okay, but I remember when I was a kid my brother found a clump of pubes in his eggs. As it stands right now, we are very happy with Western Sizzlin, but we also went to Rusan in Atlanta, all you can eat SUSHI! For only $10.
It's about 6pm in Atlanta, getting geared up for a Monday night in Atlanta. Our hotel is conveniently located on the approach path of the largest runway to the Atlanta airport. Last night a few 747's flew over our heads, I had panic attacks in my sleep, I was waiting to wake up with a jet engine in my lap.
Looking at some of the pictures from the tour, wow, we get to travel to some really neat places, and we see some cool shit... feast your eyes, some notes from the road... As it stands right now spirits are pretty high, Percy is a little sick right now so please put some intentions out there for the Bagel Bird to get better, being sick on the road is probably worse than being sick.
 Huntsville, TX
Capital punishment… We drove by the prison, we did our token GM Funk jam>prison death row electrocution ambience jam, the gig was only 2 blocks from Death Row… Since Texas likes to fry the innocent (mentally challengedz, midgets, Canadians, gays, minorities and anyone else that qualifies for a Grade A pickup dragging), every once in a while when we were playing, the power would dim, another burned inmate bites the dust. We stayed in a hotel, Dboz got us the 3 bed master suite at the econo lodge, I slept on the Aerobed and huffed exhaust from trucks all night on the fucking floor.
Observation of Texas and Huntsville. I used to think Texas had lots of flat land and hot dry blandness. The funny thing, is that every state has tons of beauty. Texas is beautiful, and Huntsville is pretty nice, I guess if you are going to be capitally punished, what a better place. Huntsville folks are pretty cool, they don’t mention how the town sucks when you come to play there, they actually stick up for it. Huntsville is unique, it’s somewhat unspoiled, it has some sort of underground hippie type vibe going on, except if you go near the prison, the vibe disappears and is transposed into electrocution. Thanks to the Stardust room for some good food and nice service.
We ate BBQ the next day at the New Zion Missionary Baptist Church - Huntsville, TX, if you ever pass through this area, it's a must try. This place is family style goodness from jesus, we got the meat sweats and snarked down tons of meat and praised jesus for a low price of around $11 a person..
 Houston, TX
This tour can’t be any easier. Normally you are racing from town to town, with never enough time to do shit, but for some reason it’s just working out…. Plenty of time to rest up and get ready for a show, it makes 100% of a difference. We're staying at the Ramada Inn, conveniently located next to a warzone of I-10 construction. 800 cop cars drove through our room last night. The show at Dan Electros was pretty good, the sound was pretty bad. It’s a low key venue and of course, the folks in Houston decided that they were so miserable because they live in Houston, that there really is no reason to go out anyway. It was nice to see some friends and hang out, and of course, the staff at Dan Electros was amazing, now we just need to find a way to get some kids to come out to that venue, it’d be way better. We’ve had some good shows there in the past with Green Lemon.
Cajun Yacht Rock - NOLA - Maple Leaf
I'm writing this on the way to Atlanta... Not there yet… we’re listening to Yacht rock, and Dboz is singing Peg by steely Dan.. If you haven't yet seen any of the Yacht Rock's on you tube, please check it out. We have been jamming enough Michael McDonald and Steely Dan to make anyone sick. It's just the theme of the tour I guess....
Keystone Light. I’m trying to save money, but realizing that maybe investing in beer that wasn’t made from Frat Kid Piss might be worth the investment. I have a college kid hangover today. Abia, local beer for NOLA is bad ass. I had the Strawberry Abia beer and it was good, I felt like a non-manly like drinking it...... Let's get back to the disclaimer, if you are offended by these blogs, what can I say? I just deleted lots of content because I'm catching $hit from corporate, so let us know how jew feel. Please email the mothership@movingmatter.com if you have any complaints and we will look into the implementation of a rated G blog for the moms and sensitive folks. I am a crass writer, what can I say...
Cajun food, is pretty badass. There is something to say about swamps and bayous and NOLA life.. Walking around with unlimited sources of alcohol and plenty of pissing in the street, is a wonderful experience. NOLA has so much to offer, and one of the greatest things is our FREEDOM! No ending hours on serving booze, gambling, fuck does it get any better? Chris mentioned that these laws attract certain behaviors, and I agree. However, why can’t we do this shit up north and in some other cities. I propose, open container on Saturdays only. From midnight on Friday night until Sunday Morning we are allowed to have open cocktails, we can gamble and the bars can close when they want. Would this really fuck things up that bad? The state could make more money for DUI’s. Truth of it all is that I can't drink worth a damn anymore, Moving Matter is getting too old and needs to switch to Non-Alcoholic brews...
I’m going to let you in on a little secret unheard of in the music world. New Orleans, the Maple Leaf, holy (bad word) something is terribly good with this scenario. This place defies the world in which we live in. I can’t go into the specifics of how good we get taken care of, but it’s just outright insane. I want to think that it’s because NOLA has so much respect for musicians, but the truth of it all is that the place we are playing really just has a good thing going on. Digiacomo’s food is amazing, I mean seriously, I had RABBIT TENDERLOIN! They catch the rabbits in Mississippi, we had stuffed shrimp. I got the CHICKEN because I’m a fat CHUCK. Let me tell you something, if I wasn’t madly in love with my baby, I’d have taken this chicken home and had my way with it. And truthfully, sorry babe, I cheated on you. I made self love masturbatory with Digiacomo’s chicken, I put it in the microwave and we had hot love.
The staff at this place was incredible, we had people waiting on us for every move, the lady even walked me to the bathroom, and it’s neat there because you walk through the kitchen. I’ve never experienced such a unique experience from the staff, they really take you in. When I had my chicken put in a box, she actually filled it up with extra sides. These people defy greed and bring love into their business, un-real. We pawed through the leftovers in the van on the drive home, oh man, fried chicken and potato salad paws. I looked like Winnie the Pooh blob with potato salad hands in my claws.
Off to Atlanta, we got to spend some time in the French Quarter, Chris almost got arrested by a fat angry Farva (jumbo cop from the movie Super Troopers) just because he had his shirt off. We got suckkered into eating at a Cajun place that we probably wouldn't have gone to if it weren't for a high pressure salesman. I told him we'd eat there under one condition. That if we don't like the entire meal, he has to blow each band member. He thought this was funny, and so did I, but nobody else did. When I left the restaurant even the chef gave me a high five, Fats scores one point with the locals for being LOCO.
Spirits are high, the bank account is in the plus, now for a whole day of driving to Atlanta. We stop at the Olive Garden along the way and do the soup salad and breadsticks. Good stuff, we check into the Days Inn... I'm going to sign out now... part II will be coming up soon.. Any thoughts, or comments, let us know. I am currently taking bids for any type of Road Dare, we will take the pics...
Here's something interesting that happened. I got this 100% raw uncooked chicken sandwich from McShit rest in Caldwell TX, unreal, I luckily spit it up. I took the sandwich back in, they scolded the cook, he had a whole tray of uncooked chicken sandwiches. Lucky it was me and not some kid that ate that. The next 3 days I vomited blood and had.....
Here's a link to Yacht rock, DIGGIT! There are tons of them, feast your eyes..
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